So long and farewell 2009.

To all your mofos out there, here's wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

New Year's resolutions anybody? I'll think about it.


Peace out motherfuckers.

Chao.

I never did. I didn't fail my test. I got a C6 for that paper. I stayed up on the phone with you and that was it. That's all. I'm just a distant memory now so will you be in mine.

You know what? What's the big deal nowadays. You fall in love, you fall out of love. Someone's rich, someone else is poor. You're tall, I'm short. That boy is fat, that bitch is thin (in her head she's fat and goodness, God make her fat please!).

I made a new friend today and on his msn nick was "What do you wanna be in 10 years?" It got me thinking. Well, I didn't really think about what I'd be in 10 years, but much rather the things I want to accomplish within that period of 10 years.

In a random order, my list of things to do in the next 10 years and some to be added later on. I want to paint, design and make clothes, perform with my band to an awesome crowd and the usual "settle down start a family" bullshit, but that can wait.

You know what.

I just want to be famous. I want to a famous artist. I want to be a famous performer. I want to be fucking famous.

Don't mind my ego but really, I just being straightforward. Fuck all that stupid ambitions and future careers. If nothing's going to work out, I'm going to do my utmost to succeed and lead my life, full of bliss and joy.


I'm not really referring to anyone in particular. Or maybe I am. Who knows?

She probably left you because you're fucking boring. I'm just saying.

You know, fuck your beliefs. Fuck your belief in being a straight edge. You don't even know the music that started it.

I'm messed up. But that's probably because I know how to enjoy my life. I live my life to the fullest and never miss an opportunity that comes by. I learn from my past and come back up to punch reality in the face. I do what I have to do to survive in this stupid, crude world.

Or maybe it's just me. Your life is fine. Have fun.

Oh well.

You'll hate me when you have to pay to see my shows, but you'll adore me because I'm so fucking talented and you want to be like me.

But guess what? Fuck you.

Chao.

I fucking had an orgasm watching this.

I'm so fucking excited. It's finally here. War Machine. Mickey Rourke. Scarlett Johansen(SP?!). Iron Man. Fucking epic.

It opens in May 2010. You guys better bring me go watch this kick ass movie (cause it's my birthday month and I'll turn 18, but that's another story. HELLO!) or else I'll go watch alone. I. don't. care.

Holy shit holy shit. I fucking can't wait for The Avengers movie to be out. Justice League the movie. Hello? When are you guys starting production?! Urgh.

I love you Robert Downey Jr.

"You complete me..."

Chao.

Total mindfuck. I miss hugging you. And there's nothing between us anymore. Because I chose to run away. Because you were never beside me all along. You were just passing by. And I mistook your smile and eyes for something else. Something made believe.

On another hand, Dave Grohl said a girl he asked out once ditched him when he was young. She was hot. That night he dreamt he was on stage, in a band, with the girl in the front row looking sad and wanting him back. Of course he didn't care.

Take a look at Dave Grohl now. One helluva artist.

And someday, it will happen to me too. Then, I'd do that middle finger thing that I learnt from Sya. I'd do it to you. I'd say it out loud for the audiences to hear.

Now, suck on that mother fucker. Suck on that.

Chao.

It's 3.30am and I just submitted my IA assignment that's due by midnight later. I feel so accomplished. After this, I shall go compile and bind the IA sketches to be submitted later by noon. Then, I might go shower and prepare myself for school. I don't intend to sleep tonight because ... I'm trying my best not to be late for school. How? Don't sleep at all.

Today, 10-11am class was cancelled, so I took the liberty to wake up a little later thinking the next class starts at 2pm. I took my time to pack and when I realised it was already 1pm and I was still at home, I decided that I'd take a cab to school and try to be early for once.

Before I left the house at about 1.30pm, the mother passed me $20 saying "Take a cab, I know you're late for school." I totally didn't expect that but yeah, thanks mother. Really appreciate it.

I walked out to the main road, singing to myself and looking around to see if anyone was near me so they wouldn't hear my singing. No, I wasn't singing songs. I was more of making weird noises. Like I usually do when I'm alone, or so I think. I hailed the first cab and it stopped for me. Bravo.

I reached school at 2.10pm, slightly disappointed but still being 10 minutes late for class was still considered quite early for me already. I stepped into class and saw everyone on their laptops, with the teacher walking around talking to students. I looked at Cyn and she said "Class started at 1!" and I was like "FUCK?!" Then I looked at Darren and he gave me the yeah-class-started-at-1-and-cyn-is-right smile and I was like "FUCK NO?!"

I was so confident I was going to be early but NOOOOOOO, class had to start at 1 and it completely slipped my mind, I swear. Even Cyn was late to class cause she thought it started at 2.

Oh well.

Hi Babby 2.0 :)


Chao.

Don't talk to me. Not tonight, not tomorrow or the day after. Give me a week or two. No. Just stop talking to me. I want to talk to you, but it's different now. Different. And different is not good, at all.

On a lighter note, the mother finally got me a new sewing machine and table! The sewing machine is going to be delivered tomorrow and I'm quite excited because I can finally sew and alter my own clothes, like soon.

And I requested to get a simple and wide table like weeks ago, because I wouldn't want to ruin the polished wooden tables at home when I do my assignments on them. I'd sentence myself to life imprisonment if I accidentally got paint, glue or scratch them, in any ways.

Today after school, rushed down to Ang Mo Kio to meet the mother and to choose my sewing machine and table. Traded in the old sewing machine for a Singer one. The table was a cheap one cause I wasn't intending to get an expensive one because I'd only be using it for practically everything work-related. Hmm, I'm considering personalising it. Good idea, Zakk.

This is random but it means quite something to me. I was in the bus on the way home and I didn't bring my hoodie cause when I left my house, the weather was somehow quite humid. I wore a t-shirt with jeans so my legs were quite warm but my arms were freezing. I folded my arms and hid my hands under my bag and tried to keep as still as possible. I didn't even want to reply texts or answer my phone when the mother called. Then one or two bus stops down, a dude roughly about my age sat next to me.

Hooray to body contact, because I felt a tad lil warmer. And it was quite nice because when there were empty seats around, he didn't move. He just sat at where he was, like he knew I was freezing and tried to keep me warm. Perhaps, he knew I was in need of company. The kind of company where you just want someone to sit next to you and keep quiet. Because you just want company.

To that dude, I love you and I thank you very much. I wonder where you stay because I'm only human and I'm just curious you see.

This morning, I woke up at 9, cabbed to Sengkang to get the brother's Mac and then trained to Dover. I skipped morning class which start at 8 because I just hate it. See Panther (my black laptop), you refused to behave and now you're being replaced by a Mac. Suck on that.

I want to thank the brother too for picking up my call in the middle of the night while he's camping out in some forest. I called to ask him for permission to use his laptop. I'm such an awesome sister right? I know.

I'm so fortunate to have so many lovely people around me. But deep down inside, I'm just another scene emo kid wannabe. I know right? So fucked.

Chao.