Love of mine.

 

Meet Tommy and Adrian. If you can spot them.

 

Very upset with the world right now, including myself.

I know it's the Raya month but I just can't seem to be naturally happy about anything. I don't talk about it because I don't want to. Instead, I do stupid things like - . I can't stop because I feel so hollow without it.

I can't help but feel very miserable. And people make jokes about it. Go ahead. You don't know how angry I am at myself. You don't know how it feels like to live my life. I know everyone has their own problems and I shan't compare and tell everyone I'm the most fucked up person in the whole wide world.

But why does everything have to happen at this time? During Raya month. I'm supposed to forgive and forget but I really can't bring myself to do it.

I miss my friends from GYLC. Those who were there for me, who told me to take my time and not rush me, who walked me to my room, who supported me, who accompanied me when I was alone, who carried my things for me, who wished me well. I miss you all so much.

I know I was being pampered there but I can't help but feel unloved when I reached home. It felt so empty. No one gave a damn whether i was struggling making my way to the toilet, or whether I felt uncomfortable. No one gave a fucking damn about me.

Whatever you know. Seriously. I can cry myself to sleep thinking about all the bullshit but I choose not too. Being injured is painful enough, having sore eyes no thanks.

Oh well. Shit happens.

Blogger has finally allowed me to upload pictures. Soon, I shall flood my blog with pictures like I used to alright.

Chao.

I miss singing :'(

Sometimes all we need is someone to be there. Someone to hold you tight and tell you that everything is going to be alright. We just need that one person to remind us that it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to be who we are.

Yknow, I want to have a baby. Now. With someone I love. Not with someone I'm married to, but with someone I'm truly, madly, deeply in love with. With that, our baby would be a representation of our love. That undescribable feeling of the two of us being one, making love.

That day, I saw her again. She was smiling. She seemed so happy. Maybe it's because she's with you. She's with the one she loves, who takes away her sorrow, who gives her happiness. I didn't know how to feel or what to say, I looked away. It hurts. It still does. I guess if I weren't so ignorant then, perhaps we could have already been. It's not over, because I know. I just do.

Fuck you.

Okay, just need to get a few things out of my head.

I waved to you but you didn't seem to respond. As if I was invisible. It's fine, maybe you really don't want to have anything to do with me anymore. It's okay. Just kinda jealous you talked to my friend when she was directly behind me and I attempted to wave to you. Hello? You still there?

And you, stop contacting me. I don't like you. My egobrain says I'm too good for you, which I'd like to think so. In fact, I AM too good for you. Seriously, stop it. I'm smarter and so much more better than you. Fer shiz.

I guess that's about it. Nothing much to update. Well, I've got pictures to uploard but, I'm busy.

Busy with what?

Pokemon!

Chao.

Lindsay Lohan guest-judged the first episode of Project Runway season 6? God, no. What does she know about fashion? Urgh, of all people to be the guest judge. Oh well, Nina's still the resident bitch. Michael is still pretty gay. Heidi is hot as hell and Tim Gunn's awesome. So relieved Project Runway's back.

Short update. Have yet to completed clean up my room.

Anyone has any idea where I can get really cool bedsheets? Like superhero-related? Know what I mean? Please tell me ASAP.

Chao.