I came to a realization earlier tonight that I am as lonely and desperate as Buangkok cat.

We yearn for the attention and affection at the same time of day, when it's late at night and all we want is some company to snuggle up to.

I'm just wondering if Buangkok cat wants to "take me home" as much as I want to put him in my bag and bring him home, along with his sister and the "bodyguard" cat.

It breaks my heart all the time when I'm done playing with Buangkok cat and I walk away, with him meowing at me to come back.

I am as aloof as a stray cat.

Every night, I go to bed not wanting to wake up because I wake up soulless. It's like someone got hold of a paintball gun and started shooting straight at my chest. It feels painful.

I thought I got over my down moment and shit returns to bite me back harder.

But I think what hurts more, is to see your loved ones suffer. And what hurts the most is to witness first-hand, the woman who brought you up with tears in her eyes, feeling so much sadder than I am.

And damn, it stings really bad when you don't know what to fucking do at all.