If clubs played this, then maybe I'd change my mind and decide to be a hardcore clubberzxzxz.

Chao.

Because I'm so lazy and can't be arsed to do any work right now, or ever. I'm here.


Apparently I'm a retard and an ocassional scene faggot. How nice, huh.

Chao.

Dear Grandpa, it's been 8 long years since we last met (though you ocassionally visit me in my dreams). I just want to say I miss you terribly. Never a day goes by that I never think of you. Never.

How've you been doing? I'm doing good. I think. Wait, actually I'm lying. I'm not doing very well. Everything's really crazy right now and I just wished you were only a phone call away so I can rant to you and not type everything out in this useless blog of mine. I just wished I could run to the beautiful home that you left Grandma with (just before you passed) and have you greet me with open arms at the doorway.

You've always been my father-figure growing up. Mummy never fails to remind me that one instance when I was what, 5 6 years old? I wanted you to marry Mummy so the 3 of us could be a happy family together. Things were so simple back then, and now then I've grown up and matured, I see the big picture now.

We take risks and make sacrifices for all the things we hope to achieve. We fall and get back up, and we fall again and get back up. You've always been there for me and I know you still am. You're just not physically around anymore but I still feel your presence. If only you were physically around though :\ I need a good, long hug from you. I need to hold your hand. I need to talk to you. I need to just be with you, so badly.

Sometimes, I wished God would take me away and have us be together forever. Then I'd be so happy, I'd stop frowning. I'd stop being cranky. I'd stop being stupid. I'd just be the perfect Granddaughter that I should be. I just want to end everything right now, just to be with you. If only it were that simple. Everything's so screwed up. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I just want to make you and Mummy proud of me. That's all.

I've always thought you'd be around long enough to watch me grow up, attend my graduation ceremonies, go on vacations together, marry me off and watch me have kids. I wanted my children to meet their great-Grandpa in person. But all that they'll have now are just stories of you of which I'll tell them about how amazing of a person you are and how you've been the greatest person I've ever met, in my life.

For now, I'll just do the best I can and see wherever my life takes me. Have I told you about my plans for my future? I bet you already know because you're you. And that's what I adore so much about you and fortunately, learn from you. You know people so well just like that.

You're forever and always deep in my heart and I thank God of bringing you into my life because you're the best I ever had. Thank you. And a Happy Father's Day to you, Grandpa.

I love you, very much.

Another sleepless night. The last one for the term. For the wrong reasons, of course. As usual.

Just a short update. I'll be heading to KL in a few hours so I won't be in to hang out this weekend. I'll be back on Monday so make plans on Tuesday onwards. Hao? I'll flood this space with pictures once again like how I used to, back when I had all the time in the world to at least give a damn.

Til then, take good care of yourselves.

Chao.