All you bloggers with songs on your blogs that automatically play. Especially those with annoying songs. Okay any song that automatically pops up and ruins my bloghopping moments. To all you bloggers like that.

YOU CAN FUCKING SUCK MY COCK AND GET A LIFE.

Chao.

Even if you're a fan or not, click 'demand it' cause I want to see them perform live. They should be awesome.

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Chao.

I'm in need of a lot of money now. Don't ask. But seriously, mind loaning me some?

I'm bored and I know I should be doing my assignments right now. I'll just keep taking advantage of my sickness and tell myself "I'm bloody sick and I need all the rest I can get so I can go to school well tomorrow." but of course you, me and everyone else knows that's it's one of the most lame-ass excuses ever.

But seriously, I'm really not feeling well. And because I'm bored, I'll just share with you how I got sick and what the symptoms are.

I went out to meet Sya on Saturday. She was not feeling well, something about sore throat and it was apparent because of the way she spoke. I thought, hey how coincidental would it be if her virus would actually pass on to me. So I shared some food with her. Saturday night, my throat was sore.

On Sunday, I was supposed to meet Cyn and Sam at 2.30pm at PISSPeace Centre to get our group work printed and binded. I reached at 4.30pm. Sam already left and Cyn happily flashed me her middle finger. Nice. Throat was still sore. Cyn was also not feeling too well. Binding couldn't be done so we planned to go again the next day during our 5 hours break. That was the deal.

Monday morning, my throat was still sore and I had a runny nose as well. So I stuffed myself with lozenges and panadol for flu (Thanks mother!). My lunch was horrible because I couldn't taste a single thing despite my efforts of trying to clear my nose so I could taste. I felt so disgusting blowing my nose in the food court in front of everyone eating but who the fuck cares right? Wahahaha.

According to the time table school was supposed to end at 6pm and 11-4pm would be my class' break time. Yeah, 5 hours break is crazy. Cyn and I actually planned to head to Peace Centre to get our book binded then we found out that our 4pm class was shifted to 2pm. We got quite pissed off for awhile then we decided that the whole group shall go and get our book binded TOGETHER. So united right? I know.

I was dozing off during afternoon class and I was so happy it ended at 3pm. Waited for the rest to finish at 4pm when Sufii called me out of the blue. He was going to meet one of his friends in SP so he wanted to meet up for awhile to wait for his friend. He kept asking if I was having a break when I kept telling him I was done with school already.

Cyn and I headed off to EEE block to hang out and she kidnapped my laptop to chat with her CHOWS. Then I took a short nap and received a phone call from Sufii saying he was at Dover already. Good boy, so I guided him towards EEE block. Met him and he was in running shorts with an A7X shirt, carrying his guitar on his back and sports bag. Cool or what that boy. Waited for his friend, Fir, while Sam was bugging me to meet at the mrt cause Qom needed to go home early. Tough luck boy, be patient.

Then, we realised everyone was headed towards Dhoby Ghaut so we caught the same train and omg I've never seen any boy so desperate to get a sit in the train before! *Points towards Sufii* Then I set next to him, chat, talk nonsense. We parted at Dhoby Ghaut cause Fir and him wanted to get some stuff which they refuse to disclose or perhaps they forgot what it was. Boys will be boys.

Binded our awesome book and then headed off to Arab St for teh tarik with the interior design kids. Chat and chat and chat and drank until about 8pm. I was already starting to cough like crazy. Left for home and took more panadol and did no work. Thought of taking a nap so I could wake up to do work, but to no avail. I slept throughout the night. Started developing chest pains.

This morning, I couldn't breathe properly. I also couldn't move properly. I couldn't control my movements properly. Bathing was a chore because my hands were shivering. I almost died in the toilet I swear. I so had the urge to come out of my toilet naked because wearing my clothes was tough enough. I felt really weak.

I told my mum and she told me she'll bring me to the doctor. So I went back to bed only to wake up to her screaming to get me to wake up because I've had more than enough sleep. Gee mother, take a chill pill.

Headed to the clinic, got my gazillion pills then went to get lunch. Briyani chicken was awesome! But because I wasn't feeling well, I took a long time to eat and couldn't finish my food. Gah, I'm terribly disappointed with myself. Cannot waste food ah girl!

So yes, today wasn't a productive day for me. Ate briyani, took my meds, slept, woke up, watch some tv, napped, had dinner, laptop, meds. Yummy, I know right.

My life is very mundance. Albeit the assignments given but I'm so bloody lazy. Need someone to scream at me but then again, not right now when I'm feeling unwell. Every little sound I hear seems to be amplified like 1000 times more I swear. Alright then, I shall stop typing now.

Chao.

Because I love kitties and funny things.






















Currently feeling under the weather. Nose is leaking mucus like no tomorrow and throat is sore. The sole contributor of the mentioned was most probably Sya. Thanks babby.

My first week of Semester 2 was pretty okay. Attempted to study the Singapore's assholic weather patterns so I'd know what to wear, jeans or shorts, hoodie or shirt, bla bla bla. Long bus journeys killed my ankles plus long hours in school equals crazy.

Met long-time-no-see friends. Very glad some of our classes are the same. So happy that I have Cyn in my class to crap with and make a lot of noise. Made new friends, bla bla bla.

Nothing much to update about. Oh, if you guys are wondering what I'm doing in school, I've a second blog which is actually for one of my modules. Something about design-thinking or whatever the teacher meant. Go check it out if you guys have nothing better to do. I've to update it every week, like a weekly homework kinda thing.

Chao.

You shouldn't have fucking left in the first place.

Last night was so surreal. It was nice. Thank you.

I was going to stop typing here but something just happened. And I feel like a total jackass now. Somebody please shoot me.

Anyway, I found an awesome quote.

"Take pride in your pain; you are stronger than those who have none." -Lois Lowry

Take that motherfuckers.

Chao.

This gives me inspiration. in my pants

Chao.

I feel weak.

With everything that's going on right now, emotionally and physically. No, I'm not emo. I just need more time to think better but time is never on my side, nor anybody's. I need more time to get well. I'm pretty sick of the state I'm in now. Not my "emo" state of mind rather more of myself as a whole, my health, my habits, my appearance.

Medication after medication. Doctor visits, one after another. Being referred from one specialist to another. My ankles, my immune system, my head. I can't walk properly, I breathe too hard or sometimes too deep, I can't sleep well. Something is really wrong with my body. I'm not addicted to my meds. I think they are addicted to me.

Too much money spent on me just for myself to get well. I feel it burden my family. My little family. The little imaginery family in my head. I think they secretly hate me for not being strong. Not tough enough. Not immune to illnesses or unnecessary injuries. I'm being too much. I take everything for granted and this has to stop.

Ask me if I'm okay. I'm not, obviously. How can I be? I stopped training and Peter keeps texting me about reporters coming in to interview everyone. I'm so fucking jealous but I can't do anything about it. I told Peter I'll be back in October to train. November's in a few weeks time. And I'm still limping and fucking miserable.

I had fun during the Kuantan trip because of my friends. Those who held my hand, who supported me, who encouraged me. I couldn't walk properly on the soft sand or the stony grounds. Go ahead and laugh. Yeah, it's funny. Inside, I felt very angry, so frustrated, with myself. I'm usually the one who jumps and runs around to annoy my friends. Now, I just do that verbally and it's different.

I'm upset. I need someone to stab me. I want to lie on a hospital bed and cry. I want to be left alone yet have someone around to smile at me and tell me that everything's going to be okay. I need a hand to hold. I need to stop feeling like this becase it's not very healthy. I don't know what else to say.

Do you have any fucking idea how miserable I feel right now? Do you?

After I click on 'publish post', I'm going to have to take my meds. I'm not addicted. I just want the pain to go away. I want everything to go away. I've made a coupla big mistakes and I want to turn back time. I want to take back all the things I've said and just keep mum. It's so hard to make decisions. So fucking hard.

Chao.