It's comforting to know that after all these years, we're still so alike in so many ways. I feel at ease holding a conversation with you but so troubled at the same time at the fact that we drifted.

"I guess, I'm too proud for love.."
"Yes, you are.."

How do I become one of those girls whose photos online get comments like -you're so pretty, bb- or -why are you so gorgeous?- or -omg, your eyes are beautiful- ?

Every time I think I'm about to lose my shit, I think -no-. The art of persuasion has been one of my many greater set of life skills and you know it is proven effective when you're able to use it for yourself. It's sad, but you know what, it works.

You might say, but you're only suppressing those feelings temporarily and that I agree. My life is like a video game that way. I'm a regenerating Master Chief. I'm an immortalised mortal.

Wait, fuck.

It just dawned on me that I'm not respawning life-wise. It's the fucking oppressed emotions that keep making their way back. So in a way, that'd explain that by hurting (in the game, and perhaps in life too), I'm gradually getting rid of the bad stuff (fucking feelings), and because the game (life) is programmed the way it is (damn you, awesome programmers!), I respawn eventually and bam, life fucks me over again.

I'm a genius.