It's 3.30am and I just submitted my IA assignment that's due by midnight later. I feel so accomplished. After this, I shall go compile and bind the IA sketches to be submitted later by noon. Then, I might go shower and prepare myself for school. I don't intend to sleep tonight because ... I'm trying my best not to be late for school. How? Don't sleep at all.

Today, 10-11am class was cancelled, so I took the liberty to wake up a little later thinking the next class starts at 2pm. I took my time to pack and when I realised it was already 1pm and I was still at home, I decided that I'd take a cab to school and try to be early for once.

Before I left the house at about 1.30pm, the mother passed me $20 saying "Take a cab, I know you're late for school." I totally didn't expect that but yeah, thanks mother. Really appreciate it.

I walked out to the main road, singing to myself and looking around to see if anyone was near me so they wouldn't hear my singing. No, I wasn't singing songs. I was more of making weird noises. Like I usually do when I'm alone, or so I think. I hailed the first cab and it stopped for me. Bravo.

I reached school at 2.10pm, slightly disappointed but still being 10 minutes late for class was still considered quite early for me already. I stepped into class and saw everyone on their laptops, with the teacher walking around talking to students. I looked at Cyn and she said "Class started at 1!" and I was like "FUCK?!" Then I looked at Darren and he gave me the yeah-class-started-at-1-and-cyn-is-right smile and I was like "FUCK NO?!"

I was so confident I was going to be early but NOOOOOOO, class had to start at 1 and it completely slipped my mind, I swear. Even Cyn was late to class cause she thought it started at 2.

Oh well.

Hi Babby 2.0 :)


Chao.

Don't talk to me. Not tonight, not tomorrow or the day after. Give me a week or two. No. Just stop talking to me. I want to talk to you, but it's different now. Different. And different is not good, at all.

On a lighter note, the mother finally got me a new sewing machine and table! The sewing machine is going to be delivered tomorrow and I'm quite excited because I can finally sew and alter my own clothes, like soon.

And I requested to get a simple and wide table like weeks ago, because I wouldn't want to ruin the polished wooden tables at home when I do my assignments on them. I'd sentence myself to life imprisonment if I accidentally got paint, glue or scratch them, in any ways.

Today after school, rushed down to Ang Mo Kio to meet the mother and to choose my sewing machine and table. Traded in the old sewing machine for a Singer one. The table was a cheap one cause I wasn't intending to get an expensive one because I'd only be using it for practically everything work-related. Hmm, I'm considering personalising it. Good idea, Zakk.

This is random but it means quite something to me. I was in the bus on the way home and I didn't bring my hoodie cause when I left my house, the weather was somehow quite humid. I wore a t-shirt with jeans so my legs were quite warm but my arms were freezing. I folded my arms and hid my hands under my bag and tried to keep as still as possible. I didn't even want to reply texts or answer my phone when the mother called. Then one or two bus stops down, a dude roughly about my age sat next to me.

Hooray to body contact, because I felt a tad lil warmer. And it was quite nice because when there were empty seats around, he didn't move. He just sat at where he was, like he knew I was freezing and tried to keep me warm. Perhaps, he knew I was in need of company. The kind of company where you just want someone to sit next to you and keep quiet. Because you just want company.

To that dude, I love you and I thank you very much. I wonder where you stay because I'm only human and I'm just curious you see.

This morning, I woke up at 9, cabbed to Sengkang to get the brother's Mac and then trained to Dover. I skipped morning class which start at 8 because I just hate it. See Panther (my black laptop), you refused to behave and now you're being replaced by a Mac. Suck on that.

I want to thank the brother too for picking up my call in the middle of the night while he's camping out in some forest. I called to ask him for permission to use his laptop. I'm such an awesome sister right? I know.

I'm so fortunate to have so many lovely people around me. But deep down inside, I'm just another scene emo kid wannabe. I know right? So fucked.

Chao.

Whatever is inside my head, I'll pour it out right now.

I like this boy but I think another girl is involved. Stupid bitch. And this other bugger won't let me go. Urgh.

I'm still pretty pissed at another boy for making use of me in the past and he's not even an ex boyfriend or anything. I just hate the fact that I've been taken advantage of. What the fuck right? I know.

Today I went to school from my aunt's place which people tell me is in Bedok. After school, headed to City Hall to check out camera thangs. Bought lens cap and lcd screen protector. Then headed to Serangoon to get a coupla thangs. Then to Simpang for supper with Judd and Marie. Then back to aunt's place. At Bedok. Just Monday alone, I already travelled to almost all 4 corners of Singapore.

While at Simpang, I recalled that I didn't pack my watercolour paper into my bag. I felt like an asshole. Remembered to bring $9 paintbrush but forgot about the equally expensive paper.

I think Cyn's turning me into a lesbian. Hmm, if I don't get a boyfriend soon, I'm considering turning gay, full-time. Why not, right? The mother won't allow me to have a boyfriend until I have a stable job. And I'm going to be a designer in future. Stable job and designer don't go together. You said it, mother.

Okay that's about it, I need to head to bed so I can wake up at 6am. I've yet to iron my dress/long top. And omg I can't wait for after school. Sexcited or what.

Chao.

I'm not a quitter.

Chao.

They don't love you like I love you. This time, I think I'm serious and if you think I'm not, go ahead and slap me by all means. I'll let you.

I'm so afraid you won't feel the same way. I know I'm not pretty. I know I'm not smart. And yes, I've gotten myself into a lot of shit and it doesn't really reflect well on myself.

Ah, how I wish I was different from what I am now. I feel like an asshole.

Chao.

A : Ah, my drawing sucks!

B : You're drawing a vacuum?

I'm in love.

Chao.

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