All I wanted was to spend a little more time with you. But you brushed me away. (Not that you actually did, but it was obvious that you didn't want me around.)

All I wanted was to know that you're around whenever I come home. But I rarely witness that. (Should I even call it home in the first place? I'm being treated like a fucking tenant of the house. No, tenant is an overstatment. I'm being treated like a nobody.)

Have you ever felt unwanted? Or neglected? Or just lonely? I bet all of you have felt like that before at least once or twice if not more. It's stupid of me to be feeling like so because I've many friends. But then again, they're just friends, they're not servants, maids or what not. You don't just call them whenever you please. They don't just appear right in front of you to cater to your nonsense.

I don't want to feel like this. I want to be happy every single fucking day of my life. I want to enjoy my life. It's really fucking annoying when some of you try to bring me down. It's not nice. I don't like it when you do that. I don't do that to you so why should you?

Things aren't just what they seem. All your body language speaks otherwise. I know. I really do. I can read you eyes. It's really easy to read between the lines, and lies.

I know I'm not the perfect daughter, niece, granddaughter, sister, cousin, relative or friend. But I try my very best to be there for everyone whenever I can. I don't just leave you guys alone or get cranky when I'm not in the mood. Even if I do, of course I'll inform you all first so at least I'll be bugged less.

All I ask is for you to be in my shoes for just a minute or two. You have bad days, so do I. I want to get my life back. I'm really trying very hard to put the pieces back together. I want to be happy and smile again and actually mean it. I don't need your sympathy but all I ask for is a little patience and maybe your guidance, if it's appropriate. I don't ask for a lot though I may be a little bit demanding at times.

I just wish my guardian angels were visible, that is if I've any in the first place. So at least when I run and hide from the world, I still have somebody to talk to. Someone I can confide in anytime, anywhere.

I need a moment to get my life back together. It's just how I'm feeling right now.

Chao.