5.45am. I'm still awake. I haven't slept since 1pm yesterday. I can't sleep so I shall blog.

Because you're only reading and won't ask me anything, I shall just tell you. That right now, I feel nothing. Like really, nothing. I'm still alive, but yet at the same time, I'm just sitting here and feeling nothing. I don't feel like a zombie. I don't want to eat your brain. I really feel nothing.

Are there any insomniacs around? I really need insomniac friends. I get so lonely every time during these few hours. Oh now I remember, Prapra is always around to chat with me when I don't sleep. He's in India now enjoying life and here I am, still feeling nothing.

Sometimes, I really don't know what to do with my life anymore. People can succeed without an education so what am I doing here?

Just a quick update on my so-called life. I'm living with my brother now. Adult-free until my mum calls every five seconds (even when she's overseas). A lot of you might think "Oh cool! You get to party every night!" or "Oh my god you're so rich! You have two houses!" These people need to shoot themselves really. Or just jump off my bedroom window. I live on the 11th floor, I'm pretty sure you'll die once your head reaches the ground. Or at least I hope so.

I'm not even 20 but yet I've got so much responsibilities, it's crazy. I fucking hate it when people don't take me seriously. It's like they think I've got an easy life because I ~live alone~ now. It's not fucking easy at all.

I don't mean to sound like I'm depressed but this life is mad. So mad, I might even end up taking my own life. And you ask "What about those around you? Don't you care about how they'll feel once you're gone?" You know what, I'd very much like to not give a fuck about what people think, be it when I was alive or when I'm dead. If I didn't care when I was alive, why more should I when I'm dead?

I'm not sick. I don't want to be. You know what? I think I'm going to go watch some tv til the sun rises and be less depressed.

6am.

Chao.