last night was great great great x98298614 man!plan was distorted abit.cause last minute mada say cannot go jack's place eat cause too ex and instead of having $50 bucks all to myself i had only 10 bucks for food.WTF?then she say put aside 15 bucks to buy people present.i was fine with 35 bucks then but only 10 bucks for food?i couldn't believe it.quarreled with her over the phone cause she last minute say i can't use my hp.i bet she asked me for my hp charger just so she could read all the msgs people sent me and delete everything including the important ones.she always does that.so i just put down the phone.i got ready.bathed and everything.i tried curling my hair.not very successful.haha.but still worked.so happy for my hair.i just found a new way to make my hair nice.just pin the sides to the back.and poof.i look good already.wore my eyeliner.i think my bro was kinda shocked to see me like that but i was being nice to him at that moment cause i wasnt happy with him a day back.called to comfirm meet ruby n jin at bugis.i went there and like searched for them like shit like that.in the end i called them at the mrt station.they met me in mrt.(that's why i needed my hp!)then we went take mrt.so squeezy can.i was like holding jin.haha.then we all were holding hands and walked to VCH.so cool.we reached there and looked for seats.quite packed already man.i was like asking jin "my make up ok ?my hair nice anot?i look ok??"haha.choir people were great man.then some bloody ignorant people dint turn their hps off so went during quiet time the hp sound most of the people were like " SSHHHH!!!!" haha.serve them right.stupid people.during half time went to see rach and her frens.she refused to sit with us.stupid rach.haha.i don't know exactly why geraldine wanted to see rach so much?wth?when i exited the cafe i saw karen from drama she now waiting for o lvls.im so surprised she recognised me and she smiled at me so i waved to her and said hi.hehe.i kinda like the way choir did dumbelle with all the actions.cool.after the concert we were all clapping loud loud and then ms toh and other tchers were called on stage as some appreaciation thing.like of all people ms toh?her bf was there too!i told u JIN!!me n jin went backstage saw sanjana and hugged her.saw judd and hugged her.saw andrea and hugged her.saw charis and hugged her!i love hugging people i love.feel so warm and good.then took alot of pics.we all took pics.and rach don't know where go.then ruby had to go.chais had to go.judd asked me to take care of her camera and that was it.i started using the cam to take pics of myself and jin.haha!after waiting for jud to decide if we should follow choir people to supper or go by ourselves.we finally decided to go by ourselves and look for a taxi.walk walk walk to suntec.and decidedto take the bus.on the way judd brother called as her go home.so jin and i went to parkway macs.i called my daddy to actually asked if he could send me back but i told him instead to join us cause i sorta missed him.hehe.so reached macs.me n jin ate fillet o fish meal.just the 2 of us late at night.hehe.then came my daddy.we talk talk then finished our food and left.daddy sent jin home first.hehe.JIN SO HOWS MY DADDY?what do you think of him?then daddy sent me home.hehe.thank you so much.i was on bad terms with mummy so i dint ask her pick me up.then when i came out of the toilet mummy was home.then the scolding began.i cry cause mummy like shouted at my face so i just kept quiet.daddy say if mummy scold just keep quiet.i did that.i wonder why mothers say they not only wan b a mother to their kids but also a friend.let me tell the definition of a friend to me.a friend is someone who listens to you and supports u.a friend doesn't mock u when ur in the wrong but a friend will tell u indirectly that ur wrong.a friend won just shoot at u just like that and tell u ur in the wrong.thts what a friend means to me.then i told my mum how i felt and instead of saying sth abit nice she was like shooting back at me.now i tell u.im not the type who will allow people to just shoot at me.im someone who talk to people about my probs when i feel like it.i dont blurt out my prob like tht just cause u asked if i have any probs.i'm not like tht and pls accept the way i am cause that is me.so after that i went into my room and cried myself to slp and the next morning my mum wasnt at home.can u possibly believe how i felt right at that moment?very painful you know.so then mitch called say wana meet then my mum called and asked my bro if what i was doing and i heard my bro say "she going out" then i asked him why he said that then he was like "i said MAYBE u going out" that is a big difference you know.but in the end i didn.i think mum was shocked when she went back she saw me sweeping.bla.

i think about a week ago.after i took my medication.i had a nap.i had a dream.it was undescrible.i saw my late granddaddy in my dream.i duno why but i was so happy until i cried.(i always cry whenever i dream of my grandfather cause im always so happy)then guess what he said to me "jangan nangis" means "dun cry" i was so happy.then i went to him and salam him.his hand was kinda weak.then i held his hand and we walked together.i couldnt rmb where we were cause it was kinda dark with lamposts around.maybe on the street.and the dream ended.i woke up crying.i was sad and happy at the same time.i miss him so so much!i cant believe im tearing right now as i type.but i miss him like a gezillion much.im so thankful to heaven for letting me dream of him.if my grandfather i reading this (if they have internet in heaven that is hehe) i want him to know i love love love him so much and that i miss him loads loads.thank you.

and one last thing.in case people are wondering.

i have got nothing more to do with fifi already ok.so stop disliking me for having a bf or whatever u wana call him.i don't like that friends disregard you just because u changed and have a bf.im ni a mixed sch what do u expect?i have crushes on guys.im going thru puberty damn it.and of course as u grow u tend to change.think about it ok if u think ur fren is changing into bad or good and that u urself isn't changing.please ok.stop thinking that im the bad one here.i never judged u for changing urself or ur image or ur style or ur behaviour or whatever.i still love u the way u are deep inside but it seems u dun love me(i dun care u likve or love me as a fren or what) for who i am inside anymore.sorry if i disappointed you in anyways.i never meant to make u think that way but if thats the case.i feel sorry for u cause u just lost a friend who loves u.